on the subject of subject positions

Remarkably, since my mother has been ill, I've been thinking about myself. Almost every day, I hear her voice calling out the comments I think she might make as I walk along in a store or drive through the neighborhood. Ok, it's every day, pretty much all day. Who knew I was such a mama's girl?

Realization of this constant presence of my mother in my mind started me thinking about my other influences--besides my mother. Did she make me what I am? Is that it, I'm Treva's girl?

What I am is a person with a busy mind. I said I would try to perform all my subject positions in this blog. Is that even possible? Am I all of these subjects now?

Besides my never-ending trip to graduate school, I have been a writing student of clearcreekgirl, a ballroom dance student of Jim Hunt, a metaphysics student of Anne de Vore, and a follower of fossilguy. I studied Religious Science first with Gregory Flood 20 years ago, and I'm still a devout Religious Scientist. I practice daily and attend the Center for Spiritual Living. I studied Emerson, Troward, Butterworth, Emmet Fox, and many others with Gregory, and probably have a unusual view of God as a result of my work with him. No Mother-Father-God for me. God will always be It to me.

I've been a lot of things along the way. I've been a fabulous lesbian poet, and took a poetry workshop with Olga Broumas. I was called upon to drive her from the airport to Fort Warden for Centrum. I recall that she was bright and especially authentic. She's the sort of person whose silent presence is especially pleasant. Perhaps that is what makes her poems so powerful. She read my poem Sleep to the whole conference on her reading day. Where is that poem? I wrote poems, a lot of them.

I've been a bedside nurse in acute psychiatry for over 20 years, in many inpatient and outpatient settings though I favor teaching hospitals. I now work as psychiatric nurse practitioner. I love this work.

I've been in graduate school for a long time. As I near completion of my dissertation research, I've been 'awakening' or perhaps 're' awakening to the world. It seems like it's changed a lot since I took on graduate school. Maybe it is me that has changed. It was Anne de Vore who told me I had to go to grad school and earn a PhD. I hope I'm not warped.

This is only the beginning of this list of subject positions. If I enact them all will I have one subject position after all? I'm really trying to test out the subject position concept on a personal level. I know I've only scratched the surface of its full meaning and signification here.

I've been told a number of times recently that I need to work less (grad school and my beloved nurse practitionering) and get some hobbies! I used to have hobbies. I'm now looking at photography and sailing lessons to get ready for summer travel.

And my other hobby is going to be to find those poems. I might still be a poet if I took some time to do some poeting.